We all have times when we feel out of sync with our physical world.  It seems we can’t get out of our own way. We say the wrong thing, at the wrong time (or is it ‘the right time.’)  We drop and break our favorite coffee mug.  We close a door on our finger.  Our hair looks really bad.  Sometimes it lasts a day, sometimes a few days.  About all we can do is put one foot in front of the other till it passes. Then there are times when life railroads us.  It can be triggered by the loss of someone close to us, an unexpected relocation for work, or chronic illness.  This longer-lasting disconnect may require active intervention, such as counseling, to bring us to a place of comfort with ourselves in this new situation. Then, it’s a matter of letting that great elixir, the passage of time, help us through. 

As I adapt to a revision of my life (chronic illness which has required that I leave a home I loved and a job I loved), I have stumbled into a surprising antidote to that feeling of being lost at sea.  As I tread water and wait for a passing ship to pluck me from my bobbing around and place me on more solid ground, the little bit of driftwood onto which I hang, is a pond (how ironic, for the analogy I have used here!), and the creativity it has drawn from me.

On the property where we now live, sits this lovely one-plus acre pond.  At first I used the path that circles it to get the exercise I need to keep my legs strong.  But, I found that as I walked the path, I was seeing, hearing, feeling and smelling amazing presentations of nature.  In time, I brought my camera with me on my walks on the outside chance I might see something worth capturing.  Now, it’s rare that I am without the camera on a walk.

And, I have started a blog about the pond.  This creative outlet - writing about a pond and posting pictures of it - I could not have imagined would occupy my thoughts and time at this stage of life.  I don’t get it, but I’m going with it.  For my whole life I’ve operated at close to warp speed, and now, when there are many days that I have almost no charge in my battery, I have had to slow down to an unfamiliar pace.  The ‘wildlife’ of the pond seems to match my new groove.  The turtles plod along, the fish meander, the frogs sit, the bees hover.  And, I walk slowly enough to see them all. 

As I freeze my posture to focus my camera, there is no thought in my mind of my achy physical self, which is a nice relief.  All attention is through the lens.  And, the thrill of downloading the work of a day is nothing short of exhilarating when a picture is far better than I had hoped, or the shot has found something unexpected, like a fish jumping in the foreground of a long-shot view of the pond.

In our society, we like to command the events of our destiny. And, we don’t take it well when things go way off track.  In this new life into which I have been cast, I am learning to go with the flow.  I’m getting used to bobbing along. I don’t watch the horizon with such intensity for that ship.  I have added to my litany of thank yous to God, not only the health of my past years, but the silver lining, the pond, of my current life.  This little gift offers me a creative outlet that shows me that I am still productive, just in a different way than before.

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