For several weeks my energy has been at an almost unbearable low. I keep thinking it’s the hot humid weather - despite our refreshing whole house a/c. I think when the body is generally weak from chronic illness, as mine is, it is far more sensitive to stressors. I have a bag of tricks to outsmart myself, but none seem to be doing the job this time. Perhaps the atmospheric pressure of current weather conditions, makes its way through the barrier of my shelter.
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend who counsels as a profession. Her advice is always inspiring. When we talked about my health, she asked if I was ‘visualizing.’ I said I was, that I envision times in the past when I was strong, and that I project to the future an image of me with greater strength than I am now able to muster. Before letting her comment I motor-mouthed along …. adding that perhaps my trouble was that I have several family members and friends in need of prayer/energy and that I think I’m exhausting myself by sending what little bit I have to them. She asked how, through my visualization, I was replenishing myself. I drew a big blank - I had no answer. I had to acknowledge that projecting to the past and to the future was giving me no re-charge here and now. She offered that I have to put in more energy than I put out.
She suggested that I start each day visualizing the power of the universe (some might call this God), in the form of light, radiating toward me, coursing its way into my essence, filling every cell of my being with its power. How great does that sound? Awesome - to someone as thirsty as I am for energy. Drawing from my past reality, just the thought of the visualization feels like the stirring of a cooling breeze, passing over my sweat drenched skin, in the heat of a tennis match under the blistering summer Sun. And, in truth, it is by starting with an image with which I am familiar (like the tennis scene) that I am able to progress to the profound visualization prescribed by my friend.
I don’t know if it is the weakened state of my being that makes me unable to go directly to the full visualization, or a mental and/or spiritual block. This morning as I tried her suggestions, it was too big for me. It tired me more, just trying to access the visualization. But, I found that by experiencing the familiar, I could then step up to the comprehension and acceptance, and finally the receiving, of the energy from the profound. And, I have found that it is the acceptance, or surrender, to the power, that is most key in receiving it.
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