Complicated grief is the medical term for someone who grieves for months or years after the beloved has died and does not move on with the stages of grief. The grief is just as strong as when the day their beloved died. Granted, grief is a very individual process and everyone needs their own span of time to grief. The kind of grief we’re talking about here is unhealthy grief, when it consumes your life almost like an obsession. Treating complicated grief is dicey at best.
Now, a UCLA study suggests that there may be a physical and potentially treatable reason for complicated grief. The complete study was published in the journal NeuroImage.
Addicted to Grief?
The study looked at 23 women in grief over the loss of a close family member. 11 had complicated grief, while 12 had "normal" grief and acted as a control group. They underwent MRI scans as they were given photos to look at. Whenever photos of who they were grieving for appeared to those with complicated grief, the pleasure centers of their brains became very active.
Although this suggests that people choose to go into complicated grief because it feels good, the study’s lead author Mary-Francis O’Connor, warns that there’s a lot more complicated issues going on. She also stresses that someone in complicated grief feels bad rather than good.
The Practical Upshot
This writer suffered from complicated grief years ago and I try to keep busy in order to not become overwhelmed by grief. Sometimes, the pain of decades ago can still feel as sickening as when I first realized my pet was dead. It was not believed that I could still grieve after a couple of weeks, but would still be upset years later. Currently, there is a widow in my neighborhood suffering complicated grief over the loss of her husband over a year ago.
Although it doesn’t bring a lot of relief for those with complicated grief, you do have proof that what you have been saying all along is correct. Perhaps the most practical part of this study is that people in complicated grief are not just being uncooperative or difficult. There is genuine suffering going on. Maybe that can help them relate with their family members better until a healing comes along.
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