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Jul 15 2008

The Joy of Stupid Criminals


dim bulb"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." — Jack Handey

Although laughter can’t cure everything, it sure can cure a bad mood by getting you to laugh and, therefore, relax.  For example, I love reading about stupid criminals.  They really are funnier than a television sit com.  (When I say "stupid", I don’t mean "mentally retarded").  If you wrote a short story about the antics stupid criminals get up to, you’d never be able to get it published because the story would be "too unbelievable".  I also can’t help but feel a little better about myself.  I’ve done some bone-headed things in my day, but at least I never did what some of these guys did (knock on wood).

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choicesOne of the other blogs I write for is Celsias, a green blog based in New Zealand.  Although it’s a great blog to write for, it brings you directly into contact with people holding violently differing opinions — even within the green movement, who are supposedly on the same side.  I firmly believe that if you get three environmentalists in the same room, at least two of them will go for each other’s throats in about ten minutes.

Of course, this happens within any cause, not just the green movement.  But, we’re still stuck living and dealing with people with opposite viewpoints than ours.  Here are some things I do, but I am in no means an expert.  I’d love to hear your suggestions on dealing with people with opposite viewpoints.

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happy-pills"I want a new drug."    —  Huey Lewis & The News

Chronic pain is bad enough, but then you have to deal with taking new medicines.  For example, I have migraines.  I get them about once a week, more or less.  And let me tell you, contrary to the belief that everything that happens to you is a blessing from God, I really do NOT feel blessed.   My doctor is trying a little pill parade of new drugs in order to banish the migraines into the maelstrom of chaos from whence they came.  It’s stressful taking new medication, because you really dread that moment when you realize this is not the drug for you.  You never know when that moment is going to hit.  And yet, when the moment comes, it’s never as bad as you think it’s going to be.  It’s a metaphor for dealing with life, isn’t it?

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vote_here_womanI don’t know about you, but I SO wish the Presidential election was over and done with.  I’ve gotten to the point where I hate all of the candidates just because I can’t get away from their faces.  I couldn’t entirely duck the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections when I lived in England, either, because whatever politics happens in America greatly affects Great Britain.  I was living out in the woods and other homeless people would come up to my camp and quiz me on American politicians and how to pronounce Ronald Regan’s name ("Ray-gun.  Just remember — ray-gun.")  There are days when I still wish I was sitting in the woods.  Here are some of the things I’m doing that helps me deal with the Presidential Election.

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Abraham_Lincoln_head_on_shoulders_photo_portrait"Things like that just don’t disappear."  — Lackawana County Historical Society President, Mary Moran-Savakinus

Well, apparently things like that DO disappear.  You say you’ve lost the remote again?  Lost your car keys?  Lost your marbles?  Well, don’t be so down on yourself, or assume that you’re getting Alzheimer’s, because the odds are you’ll never loose anything that compares to what the town of Scranton, Pennsylvania lost (which is the setting of the American version of The Office).

They’ve lost their sixteen foot high Abraham Lincoln Memorial.  And they’d really like it back, please.

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