Perhaps I’m too old to grasp the basics of quantum physics.

When I was a kid, I once asked my Mom one too many times why she named me Rena.  It is a highly unusual name on both sides of my family.  Mom finally rolled her eyes and replied, "Because it would look good on the Pulitzer Prize."  That shut me up fast.

However, I didn’t become a writer because Mom wanted me too.  I wanted to.  As a child, I wanted to write, star and direct in my own science fiction television series.  Once I battered around by reality a little, I decided to make a change to this life plan.  I was going to write science fiction and/or fantasy novels.  After many, many years and a mountain of rejection slips, I think I might have to change my life plan again.

"Not Scientific Enough"

One of the complaints I get from editors about my science fiction stories is that they are "not scientific enough".  Although I try to avoid sending any story to "hard science fiction markets" (stories that would even make Stephen Hawking say, "What the heck was that story about?"), my life dream is to get these stories and novels published.  So, I thought.  I telecommute.  That gives me enough time to brush up on recent science.

Yeah, right.  I’ve been trying, but I have a feeling I’m just a little too old to grasp the basics of quantum physics.  Quantum physics, if I have this correctly, involves the use of an imaginal realm and imaginary numbers in order to explain stuff.  Imaginary physics I thought I could handle.  I know I can’t handle real physics.  I kinda pride myself on my ability to learn, but I quantum physics is beginning to make my cry whenever I look at a book on it.

Adapting Plans To Reality

OK, now I have a choice.  I could continue stubbornly plowing through these library books on quantum physics and berating myself for being too stupid to get it, or I could keep on writing the stories as they want to be written and trying other markets to sell them to.

Guess which choice I’m making?

It’s not the original life plan I had, but an adaptation of it.  I don’t think in the long run I’m going to get anything but a headache if I keep writing science fiction stories.  I’m trying not to classify them now.  They’re just "stories", with some science fiction elements. 

The goal now is to get short stories and a novel published — no matter what genre they happen to be.  This decision has made me more relaxed about my future and less self-criticizing.  I can take a deep breath and just focus on the now instead of comparing myself to some parallel universe Rena who managed to get several science fiction novels published.

For now, anyway.

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