If you want to cut your stress naturally, just stop comparing yourself with others that you think are better than you. You don’t know what goes on in the heads of those you admire — perhaps they feel worthless, too.
Feeling worthless is a major sign of any kind of depression. In a study by Dr. Aaron Beck, over 80% of diagnosed depressives said that they did not like themselves. Why is this? Partially, because we may have been taught to constantly compare ourselves, our talents and abilities with others. It can start from a teacher saying, "Why can’t you be more like your older brother?" to being admonished act more like a saint or religious figure. Once we get in the habit of comparing ourselves with others, we can’t help but think we don’t measure up in any way beside anyone else.
You can certainly learn from role models, heroes and religious figures. But in learning, you have to forgive yourself of your faults, make any restitutions necessary and try to change from there, if you really need to. For example, the hero for most of my life is British singer-songwriter Peter Gabriel. When he was my age, he released his most sucessful album of his career, So. Peter made millions and gave away a lot of that money to charity. In comparison, I haven’t done anything nearly as remarkable. I haven’t won awards or been applauded on stage or made a fraction of the money he has. I also haven’t been able to give very much money or time to charities, becuase I lacked in neither.
For years I tried to be another Peter Gabriel becuase that was my standard of a great human being. However, over the years, I realzed that the job of being Peter Gabriel was already filled. My job was to be Rena Sherwood and that was just as important a niche to fill as being a generous rock star. I run my own home business as a freelance writer where I can write articles helping people help themselves. I help take care of my Mother, her cat and my dog. So, being Rena Sherwood has turned to be just the right person I was meant to be.
It’s not easy to stop an ingrained habit like running yourself down. You have to practice, practice, practice. You are learning another skill — to compare yourself with no one except yourself — and you can’t learn a new skill overnight. One of the things that can help you learn this new skill is by meditating. You don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel and light incense in order to meditate. You just keep your mind focusd on the present. Don’t worry about the future or regret the past. Appreciate what is around you. Have no expectations, and you might find more good in your life than you thought.
Keeping your mind on the moment by meditating can help your physical stress levels and help ease your feelings of worthlessness. See what you get accomplished in a day. Who knows — you might be the envy of others.
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4 Comments
Write a Comment»This is a great article. I never thought that comparing myself to others could lead to stress or depression. Of course, I stopped comparing when I was very young (I’m 46 now) because I learned that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses while I was in the military.
Wow. Thank you for the kind words, RT. Interesting observation about being in the military and learning about people.
I still compare myself to others to have a measure of my progress but my aim is always to better myself. Your state of mind determines if you get stressed out or get motivated when you compare. So it’s back to individual emotional strength
Cheers
James
I always have a tendency to compare with my peers in my class.I feel sinful because they’re all my very good buddies.I tell myself to cease comparison with them but i can’t seem to accomplish it.Up till today,i still compare and i reckon i need a counsellor
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