"Do not give your opinions or advice unless you are asked."                 

—  First rule of Satanism

Surprised that was from Satanism?  Well, I sure was.  I’m not a Satanist, nor do I play one on TV, but I do have to give advice as part of my job as a freelance writer.  I try to keep my opinions strictly to my job.  If you are reading this, then presumably you are asking for advice on coping with stress.  That’s why I spout off about how to cope with stress. 

However, I am perfectly aware that getting advice on how to handle stress can be very stressful.  Currently, I’m reading Dr Andrew Weil’s Natural Health, Natural Medicine and the advice in there can really make me cringe at times.  Every few pages it feels as his forfinger pops out of the page to admonish me about how close to a heart attack I am.  Especially because I like to eat Cheez Its while reading the good doctor.  It’s one of the guilty pleasures I still have left.  (I’m not sure how I made that connection between Satanism and Dr. Weil, but that’s how my brain works).

But, if you open up a book about how to do something (like how not to die prematurely), then you have to be prepared to have heavy duty advice flung at you.  How do you take it with the least amount of stress?

Politely

Any advice given to you, solicited or not, from a book or from a person, is only meant to be advice and not laws.  Advice given is meant to help you.  Well, most advice givers are well meaning.  Any advice referring to where you can go and what you can do while going there is generally not meant in a nice way.

Generally smiling and nodding is the best thing you can do.  Don’t interrupt them — that way it will take them longer to give you their advice.  If you want to get through the experience as quickly as possible, just keep smiling and nodding (or, in this case, reading).  I do this even when reading Dr. Weil, just in case he made a deal with the Devil to somehow watch the expressions of his readers as they read his books.  (Again, this is how my brain works.  Yours may work differently, and that’s okay.)

The Choice Is Still Yours

Just because you read or are  told advice does not mean you are obliged to act on that advice.  Get a proper perspective on what the subject of the advice is about.  If it’s about something as serious as quitting smoking, then you aren’t going to like ANY advice that tries to help you stop.  You are going to feel a certain amount of resentment.  But you know you have to quit.  Get the resentment part out of your system and act on what advice you can.

But don’t beat yourself up inside because you act so differently from the advice.  ("Oh, I’m such a bad person because I still smoke," for example.)  Advice is not meant to make you feel bad about yourself and point out your shortcomings.  Advice is usually given on the assumption that you want to change something about yourself.  It’s just advice.  It’s like getting a gift — you either keep it, regift it or hunt around the box for the reciept.

Hope this helps. 

Honestly.

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