We all need imaginary friends at all stages of our lives. They’re actually more real and more friendly than real people. They never take the last slice of pizza, they never call during the best parts of Star Trek and they almost always have a sense of humor. There are arguments that imaginary friends are actually spirits or signs of mental instability, but there is also an argument that they are facets of ourselves that we learn to come to terms with. What they are, exactly, is a moot question. They are helpful in helping us deal with the absurdity that is life and that’s more than most real people do.
The Real Benefits Of Imaginary Friends
We adults have been pressured to drop imaginary friends by the time we hit puberty. Jean Piget was especially scornful of older children having imaginary friends, and Jean Piaget is one of the biggest influences on child psychologists today. But a 2004 study done by the University of Oregon showed that imaginary frineds helped children learn socialization skills and boosted their self esteem.
Do we ever stop needing to learn these skills? No.
The biggest benefit of imaginary friends to adults is that you have someone to complain to. Animals are also amazingly good in this capacity, but there might be some lingering doubts that they’re only listening because you own the can opener. This is a great way to get stress off of your mind and to work out some solutions to problems.
What Is An Imaginary Friend?
An imaginary friend does not have to be purely invisible. They can reside in a toy or poster or any other object. Sometimes, you dream about them. Since they do seem to have a life of their own, they come when you need them and go away when you don’t. They may bounce from object to object in the course of your life. They never tell you to harm yourself or others. They are not jealous of the time you spend with real people or pets. There is no scientific method for detecting the presence of an imaginary friend. You either know they are there or you know they are not there.
Don’t be afraid to talk to them out loud. It’s not necessary, but talking out loud does help me to cope with stress. I do get some strange looks if I’m in public, though, so keep that in mind.
We human beings seem to have a very irrational fear of being alone. We are never alone. There’s life all around us. They’re bored and staring at us, too. Every atom in the universe, and the bits in between, is the same as we are in the sense that we all need something to do. So, talk to your imaginary friends and you might be very surpised at the results — such as feeling more relaxed.
And if you don’t have an imaginary friend, we’ll try not to make fun of you.
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16 Comments
Write a Comment»Great post, your right we all need imaginary friends whether we admit to it or not. There are things that we need to get out of our system and we may not feel comfortable telling a real friend, and so out imaginary friend is a great stand in.
Thanks for the kind words, Czecho. Tell your friend I said hi!
You’re right, as humans we do have an insane fear of being alone. I thought I was alone until I saw your post. thank you very much for having the balls to share this.
My imaginary friends and I thank you for your kind words, nottelling. Considering that we’ve had noisy construction workers on our street this week, I now really look forword to being alone.
Kind of ironic that imaginary friends are shunned as we hit adolescence but strong religious conviction is not, what is god but an imaginary friend with the great powers.
Good point, Dawn.
Great point, god/the universe whatever we want to call it, is the greatest friend of all…
I’ve had an imaginary friend all of my adult life. Several of them, in fact. Not only do they fend off loneliness–I move around a great deal–but they have been an important source of material for the books I write. As I’d never admit having imaginary friends to anyone I know, I won’t tell you who I am, but I’m a fiction writer and multipublished in two genres. And thanks to you for exploring this subject[I was watching Monk and the shrink mentioned imaginary friends] so I came upstairs to find out how crazy I am. {I dont’ feel crazy…] Apparently, I expect you’d like to know, we’re all schizophrenic… I also expect there are a lot of writers out there other than I who have imaginary frineds but have never told anyone, either.
Wow — thanks for the kind words, Lamie. Sometimes I think with all of the cells and bacteria in our bodies that they might develop their own personalities that sometimes gains control of our minds, making us all feel like there are a whole city full of people inside of us. And then sometimes I think that all my personalities want is a good book and a cuppa.
Wow… Here I am, I’m in the middle of a break up that is for all intents and purposes a divorce (we’d been together for 7 years). My job is horrendous, and I’m buying a place. Anyway, I’m now doing the imaginary friend thing and I came here because I was googling about it - I thought I was going nuts… on the verge of a nervous breakdown or in the early stages of schizoprenia!
I have this concept of a group of 4 people who are so nice as to be unbelievable… completely innocent, completely well meaning and entirely well-intentioned. Maybe it’s not ‘normal’, but I’m sure glad they’re around.
Anyway, thanks for writing this… it made me feel a lot better.
You and your friends sound sane enough to me. There are a lot worse things you could do to yourself when going through tough times rather than talk to four supportive imaginary frineds. Congradulate yourself on your creative solution. And things will get better for you. Hang in there.
Thanks for much for writing this. I’m not an adult yet,I’m only 17, but I’ve had these imaginary friends for a long time, and I’ve always felt like I’m crazy, and like the other person said I felt like I had schizophrenia or something. Thanks for making all of us with imaginary friends feel better.
I really want to thank Lamie for posting her comment. I too am a writer that draws on the same! I, for the longest, have had imaginary friends. Two steady ones since high-school and many before than in childhood. I’ve always led a nomadic sort of life and as a result had difficulty in settling down and meeting people no matter how hard I try! In college it’s been particularly difficult and my “friends” have made it a bit easier to cope. I’ve always thought I was a nut since my teen years but after reading everyone’s comments here, I don’t feel as bad. Now if only there was a forum for people like us. *hint-hint*
You are my HERO. THANK YOU so much!
Thank you so much for these words of truth, dude! You have truly made my life, and beyond. I plan to start a society of imaginary friends, so I hope those psychologists shove that up their brains! Your awesomeful words have empowered me to increase my enthusiasm even more. If you would like to join my imaginary society, please visit my website (if you would like to). Thank you so much. This post is VERY inspirational.
hi guys!
i actually haven’t had an imaginary friend but my best friend did so i was obviously very intrigued. I’m now doing my Phd on something to do with imaginary companions so i would be glad for any pieces of information that might help me. If you wish you can email me on my id kadrienator@gmail.com anyway i just had one more question, my friend, he had an imaginary friend from when he was three until 15 and this imaginary friend he said was from ireland and only wore green as he was a leprachaun but at the age of three my best friend really didn’t know what a leprachaun was or where in the world scotland was so how did he conjure his friend up? any theories or similar experiences please?