We all need imaginary friends at all stages of our lives. They’re actually more real and more friendly than real people. They never take the last slice of pizza, they never call during the best parts of Star Trek and they almost always have a sense of humor. There are arguments that imaginary friends are actually spirits or signs of mental instability, but there is also an argument that they are facets of ourselves that we learn to come to terms with. What they are, exactly, is a moot question. They are helpful in helping us deal with the absurdity that is life and that’s more than most real people do.
The Real Benefits Of Imaginary Friends
We adults have been pressured to drop imaginary friends by the time we hit puberty. Jean Piget was especially scornful of older children having imaginary friends, and Jean Piaget is one of the biggest influences on child psychologists today. But a 2004 study done by the University of Oregon showed that imaginary frineds helped children learn socialization skills and boosted their self esteem.
Do we ever stop needing to learn these skills? No.
The biggest benefit of imaginary friends to adults is that you have someone to complain to. Animals are also amazingly good in this capacity, but there might be some lingering doubts that they’re only listening because you own the can opener. This is a great way to get stress off of your mind and to work out some solutions to problems.
What Is An Imaginary Friend?
An imaginary friend does not have to be purely invisible. They can reside in a toy or poster or any other object. Sometimes, you dream about them. Since they do seem to have a life of their own, they come when you need them and go away when you don’t. They may bounce from object to object in the course of your life. They never tell you to harm yourself or others. They are not jealous of the time you spend with real people or pets. There is no scientific method for detecting the presence of an imaginary friend. You either know they are there or you know they are not there.
Don’t be afraid to talk to them out loud. It’s not necessary, but talking out loud does help me to cope with stress. I do get some strange looks if I’m in public, though, so keep that in mind.
We human beings seem to have a very irrational fear of being alone. We are never alone. There’s life all around us. They’re bored and staring at us, too. Every atom in the universe, and the bits in between, is the same as we are in the sense that we all need something to do. So, talk to your imaginary friends and you might be very surpised at the results — such as feeling more relaxed.
And if you don’t have an imaginary friend, we’ll try not to make fun of you.
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Write a Comment»Great post, your right we all need imaginary friends whether we admit to it or not. There are things that we need to get out of our system and we may not feel comfortable telling a real friend, and so out imaginary friend is a great stand in.
Thanks for the kind words, Czecho. Tell your friend I said hi!
You’re right, as humans we do have an insane fear of being alone. I thought I was alone until I saw your post. thank you very much for having the balls to share this.
My imaginary friends and I thank you for your kind words, nottelling. Considering that we’ve had noisy construction workers on our street this week, I now really look forword to being alone.
Kind of ironic that imaginary friends are shunned as we hit adolescence but strong religious conviction is not, what is god but an imaginary friend with the great powers.
Good point, Dawn.
Great point, god/the universe whatever we want to call it, is the greatest friend of all…
I’ve had an imaginary friend all of my adult life. Several of them, in fact. Not only do they fend off loneliness–I move around a great deal–but they have been an important source of material for the books I write. As I’d never admit having imaginary friends to anyone I know, I won’t tell you who I am, but I’m a fiction writer and multipublished in two genres. And thanks to you for exploring this subject[I was watching Monk and the shrink mentioned imaginary friends] so I came upstairs to find out how crazy I am. {I dont’ feel crazy…] Apparently, I expect you’d like to know, we’re all schizophrenic… I also expect there are a lot of writers out there other than I who have imaginary frineds but have never told anyone, either.
Wow — thanks for the kind words, Lamie. Sometimes I think with all of the cells and bacteria in our bodies that they might develop their own personalities that sometimes gains control of our minds, making us all feel like there are a whole city full of people inside of us. And then sometimes I think that all my personalities want is a good book and a cuppa.
Wow… Here I am, I’m in the middle of a break up that is for all intents and purposes a divorce (we’d been together for 7 years). My job is horrendous, and I’m buying a place. Anyway, I’m now doing the imaginary friend thing and I came here because I was googling about it - I thought I was going nuts… on the verge of a nervous breakdown or in the early stages of schizoprenia!
I have this concept of a group of 4 people who are so nice as to be unbelievable… completely innocent, completely well meaning and entirely well-intentioned. Maybe it’s not ‘normal’, but I’m sure glad they’re around.
Anyway, thanks for writing this… it made me feel a lot better.
You and your friends sound sane enough to me. There are a lot worse things you could do to yourself when going through tough times rather than talk to four supportive imaginary frineds. Congradulate yourself on your creative solution. And things will get better for you. Hang in there.
Thanks for much for writing this. I’m not an adult yet,I’m only 17, but I’ve had these imaginary friends for a long time, and I’ve always felt like I’m crazy, and like the other person said I felt like I had schizophrenia or something. Thanks for making all of us with imaginary friends feel better.
I really want to thank Lamie for posting her comment. I too am a writer that draws on the same! I, for the longest, have had imaginary friends. Two steady ones since high-school and many before than in childhood. I’ve always led a nomadic sort of life and as a result had difficulty in settling down and meeting people no matter how hard I try! In college it’s been particularly difficult and my “friends” have made it a bit easier to cope. I’ve always thought I was a nut since my teen years but after reading everyone’s comments here, I don’t feel as bad. Now if only there was a forum for people like us. *hint-hint*
You are my HERO. THANK YOU so much!
Thank you so much for these words of truth, dude! You have truly made my life, and beyond. I plan to start a society of imaginary friends, so I hope those psychologists shove that up their brains! Your awesomeful words have empowered me to increase my enthusiasm even more. If you would like to join my imaginary society, please visit my website (if you would like to). Thank you so much. This post is VERY inspirational.
hi guys!
i actually haven’t had an imaginary friend but my best friend did so i was obviously very intrigued. I’m now doing my Phd on something to do with imaginary companions so i would be glad for any pieces of information that might help me. If you wish you can email me on my id kadrienator@gmail.com anyway i just had one more question, my friend, he had an imaginary friend from when he was three until 15 and this imaginary friend he said was from ireland and only wore green as he was a leprachaun but at the age of three my best friend really didn’t know what a leprachaun was or where in the world scotland was so how did he conjure his friend up? any theories or similar experiences please?
Imaginary friends are the only one you can tell your deepest secrets to, They don’t laugh, critisize or poke fun at you.(unless you want them to) Yes, they talk back to me, who wants a one sides conversation. They are always there when you need them. My IF has never gotten mad at me or hurt my feelings and I don” t have to worry about hurting hers (or his depending on whom I need to talk to). I don’t take my IF with me or expect them to make decisions for me. They are just someone to share my day with (joy, emotional and physical pain. sadness,anger and hope) and I go to sleep knowing whatever I said will never leave my back yard and they will not worry about me because I have spilled my guts to them. Now who wouldn’t want a friend like that. If you have one. you are truly blessed and if you don”t wellllllll it just makes sense to me.
I have an imaginary boyfriend. I am 33, educated, good career. I never had imaginary friends as a child or adult, although I’ve always spent my time alone. I recently went through a bad breakup and while crying over the breakup, suddenly “Henry” popped into my mind. I felt comforted and loved and happy to talk to someone. I did a search online to see if other adults have imaginary friends and came across this page. I see everyone speaking about imaginary friends, but I wonder if anyone else has imaginary boyfriends or girlfriends like my Henry. I guess it’s all the same thing?
I came here to google “imaginary friend” and I am so amazed. Wow, this is great stuff…
I to be honest had one since I was a kid and it is a woman. I now..somehow now when I talk to her I receive these huge healing waves of energy almost like it is really someone else. I had a rough life I guess but I mean my imagination man thank God for it because it saves me everyday. I’m a classical/jazz/flamenco guitar player and I don’t really have time to invest in a “person relationship lol”. It’s really crazy how the mind or you may call it spirit works!!. Sometimes I feel like I am learning more about myself. I think the imagination is something that most adults shut off and that part of the brain maybe isn’t used. I mean think about it, what a dry life without using your imagination.
I am so glad I found this site. I have had imaginary friends since before I can remember, say four years old. I gained many more during a horrific time in my life when I was sexualy abused by my brother for several years. They became my friends, someone I could confide in since nobody else seemed to support me. I am now in my late thirties and still talk to myself. I can’t seem to shake the habit. I hate to feel ashamed for talking to myself but it is very comforting. It helps me to hear my thoughts out loud. Anyway, glad to know I’m not the only one out there.
Wow! I am so happy I found this site! I’m 20 years old, striving to become a published author, and I’ve had imaginary friends since I was 3! Like several others who posted before me, I felt like I had something wrong with me (schizophrenia or something), but after reading this, I’ve felt much better.
Talking with my Imaginary Friend’s brings everything into perspective and I can see new possibilities. They’re also their when I just need to get crap off my chest. They keep my darkest of secrets and I don’t have to be concerned about other people finding out because an Imaginary Friend can’t gossip.
Thank you so much for this post!!
Hi! I’ve never had an imaginary friend but I stumbled across this page while looking for something else, and there’s one aspect I’m really curious about - do you actually see and hear your imaginary friend(s), as in literally you see another person there in the room with you? Someone please tell me because I’ve been wondering about this for ages! Thanks for your time!
Great question, paulo. Personally, I only see my imaginary friends in my dreams but I can vaugely hear them. I think this is dofferent with other people and their imaginary friends.
I feel better knowing I’m not alone in having an imaginary person in my life. I’ve had mine since I can remeber, He has helped me cope with Life.I’m a musician and he is a famous musician. I never talk to him in front of others and I perfer to spend time with him than real people. It relaxes me and I don’t what to let him go, butI don’t want to have a meaningless life. I’ve been reading about aspergers and thinking that maybe why I’m the way I am. Have any of you been diagonsed with Aspergers?
Thank you all! I have A imaginary friend also! I’m 17. His name is Chad, he’s my cousin. I don’t feel alone anymore. He’s my best friend. Always encouraging me to do good, reminding me I still have a chance to do better. He’s my shoulder to cry on, he’s my crutch when I’m down. When I need word’s of encouragement, word’s of wisdom, someone to believe in me, someone to say they love me and that they’ll always be here for me no matter what….he’s there. And I know he’s my guardian angel..in Jesus name amen
I have always wanted an imaginary friend since I was a little girl, and I’m trying to figure out any way I could possibly trigger one to come into existence for me. My life is basically at the worst it’s ever been, and I’m just ready to have someone. Would anyone happen to be able to give me any ideas on trying to create my dream friend? I thought maybe that my best bet would to go into a deep meditative state and try to tell myself that I have the ability?
Thanks!
As time goes on, interaction with IFs has it’s ups and downs, I think…I mean, mine have distinct personalities and are very human in their behavior, and are fallible, though I don’t think they want me to see that. (To clarify, none of them actually ARE human, but it doesn’t really change things.) I know for certain my life’s been made better because of them, though there have been some rough times…
Amy, I’ve talked to several of my friends (the corporeal ones :P) about IFs and I really think that the way one can meet an IF is about as variable as the IFs themselves. I do hope you meet one someday. If you want to talk further, just let me know, I have a lot to say on the subject!
Oh, and thanks Rena for starting this topic. :3
Hey Nick! Very nice of you to reply to me, and quickly too! Maybe it’s a sign that imaginary friends are something i shouldn’t be putting on the back burner
It’s too bad to hear how sporadic their creation can be. How did you first encounter each of your friends? Is there anything common about each? Maybe I can get some tips from that! It would mean the world to me, as it does to you people, to have at least something (maybe not alive but breathing, at least :P) there for you whenever you need it. Plus I’m still a teenager, so perhaps that could help!
I’ve tried to kind of focus all of my concentrated energy on just opening my eyes and seeing him (I already know what I want him to look like too), contacting him in my dreams (I did once! but when we were talking about him staying/coming with me, i woke up..but that’s a pretty much ground-breaking sign, him being there in the first place right? Note: dreams are a big deal to me, too)…I’m racking my brain because I have all of the situational and emotional traits that people are known to have that bring on IF’s, so I’m just realll plain jealous of all of you! I know some of you have more than one..anyone sharing? XD
Well, each of mine was different…though, all of em were significant to me in some way before they were IFs, one was based on a book that I got on my 7th birthday (I think he showed up then too, but it wasn’t until years later that we really connected..until that point I think he just lay by the side, for support when I needed him but we didn’t really do much otherwise.) As for the other three, all based off videogames. x3 and as for your comment about sharing.. well, they don’t exactly ’share’ themselves but they ARE very social, several friends of min talk and interact with them and such, I think it helps when they get to know more people. They’re even friends with other IFs, and one of them is in a relationship
Would ya mind if we continue this discussion off here? might be more convenient.
Send me an email to mushroomhead43@hotmail.com (my spam email x3) and I’ll send messenger SNs as a reply.