For some of us, it’s that tense weekly meeting with a micromanaging boss. Or maybe it’s the interminable holiday dinners with your father in law who never seems to notice that he is the only one at the table laughing at his own jokes. It could be weekly staff meetings or conversations about money with our partner. We all have them - those recurring situations that predicably stress us out. Just thinking about them can send your shoulders up toward your ears and your brow into a serious scrunch.

Instead of feeling helpless and resigned, try a more proactive approach. A couple of days before the dreaded situation, sit quietly for a moment and take several deep breaths. Then imagine how you’d like to feel during the impending stress-provoking encounter. Choose one or two adjectives that describe the feeling you’d like to embody. The next day, take a moment and remember the word or two you chose and imagine yourself in that state. Visualize yourself in the stressful situation, holding that feeling. Do it again the next day and then give it a whirl during the actual encounter. Though you haven’t eliminated the stressor, by doing this you have made a consciuos choice about your emotional stance in relation to it. This can be empowering and calming as well as shifting the focus a negative encounter. Instead of centering around how infuriating your boss is, you can focus on maintaining calm, bemusement, patience, or whatever adjective you’ve chosen. Eventually, you’ll come to a more sustainable long-term solution for the recurring stressful situation. Ideally, one that changes the situation to make it less stressful or even downright pleasant. In the meantime, practicing this stress-less method can keep you calmer and make the going a little easier.

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