I have to go to the dentist today.  Will I survive? Or will an alien leap out of my face?

I have dental phobia.  I didn’t even know it had an official name until I researched this article.  Dental phobia is an extreme, irrational fear of anything having to do with dentists.  Yes, I know dentists are good for me, but that irrational doubt lingers in the back of my mind.  I’ve been so scared of dentists that I was once 16 years between seeing one.  But I have no choice but to go to a dentist today.  How am I coping with my dental phobia?

I Think There’s An Alien In My Face

The last time I went to the dentist was about a year and a half ago.  I had pain in one tooth.  While I was in the chair, he said, "As long as you’re here, let’s do five more teeth."  I did reasonably well for the first couple of teeth, and then burst into tears, begging to go home.  I was shaking so bad that I had to have them fill out the check.  I was 36 years old at the time.  These are the signs of dental phobia.

In the wee hours of Thursday morning, my upper jaw woke me up.  (They always do this hideously early, don’t they?)  I thought my face was going into labor contractions.  I somehow convinced myself it was just clogged sinuses, got some relief taking a decongestant, and went back to bed.  Later on in the day, the pain returned.  I can’t help but thinking an alien planted an embryo in my upper jaw and now the baby wants to burst out (just call me Ms. Hurt).  I know there is no real logic to this, but stranger things have happened to me.

The earliest appointment I could get with the dentist was Monday afternoon.  In the meantime, his office prescribed me antibiotics.  Here’s a free tip — never have a toothache over the weekend.  I really don’t recommend it.  But get someone else to make the appointment.  That I do recommend.

"Darn Your Logic, Spock!"

There have only been two ways I have so far been able to cope with my current bout of dental phobia:

1. Consider the alternative — a life of pain
2. Laugh about it.
3. Write about it

Oh no, wait — that’s three things.  See what the dental phobia is doing to me?  I can’t count. 

I’ve watched so much Star Trek that I hear the crew talking to me when I go into panic mode.  Hey, there are worse voices to have in your head.  Mr. Spock usually is the main voice.  "It is illogical to be afraid of the person who can get rid of your jaw pain, Miss Sherwood."

"Darn your logic, Spock!"  spits Dr. McCoy.  "This is the beginning of the twenty-first century with butcher knives and foot pedal drills and needles as long as your ears!  Be afraid!"

For some reason, this makes me laugh and I can relax.  "Miss Sherwood," says Mr. Spock, undaunted,  "have you ever been to the dentist and failed to get out alive?"

"I’ve never died at the dentist, Spock."

"Then logic dictates that you will survive your dental appointment and all subsequent ones."

"Unless," says Dr. McCoy, "you have a psycho dentist."

Wait a minute…Psycho Dentist…that would make a great name for a short story! (Or a Stephen King novel).  I’m a writer — I need all the inspiration I can get.

So, instead of stewing in fear, I’m writing all about my fear.  And laughing at myself.  I think the chances of an alien actually popping out of my face is almost nil…almost…

Hope this helps somebody else out there with dental phobia.

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