I’ve been reading up on interfaith couples a bit lately… I’m Jewish and my boyfriend is agnostic, although his family is Christian. A lot of the information I’ve found claims that such relationships don’t work out in the long run because of the stress that religious issues put on the people involved.
Well, my boyfriend and I don’t have any problems within our relationship, but the stress from my family is starting to be a little much. I think that the real reason that some people have a hard time making an interfaith relationship work is that their families and friends place so much external pressure on the relationship that people go nuts.
The holidays definitely showcase this sort of stress. Certain of my family members have tried to be helpful, ‘recommending’ that I refuse to send Christmas presents to his family, and generally rub in the fact that I’m different.
Personally, I think that sounds outright ridiculous as well as entirely rude. But I have yet to figure out how to handle this sort of stress. As much as I might like to tell off relatives for their suggestions, I feel guilty at the mere thought. My coping mechanism of late is avoiding these conversations. I’m not screening my phone calls, but my cats do seem to be knocking over a lot of things that have to be cleaned up right now.
If you have any suggestions on how to handle ‘helpful’ relatives, I’d love to hear them. I’m about out of ideas, myself.
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2 Comments
Write a Comment»That is mean spirited, rude, and plain wrong, they are not trying to be helpful, just hurtful. I would not cut them any slack. I would just say “thanks for the suggestion” and/or ask what they are cooking/having for dinner, tell them it goes better with ham or ewww I would not feed that to my cat. good luck
A little nicer approach for female relatives, ” Last time we were over for dinner I forgot to mention, you might want to consider taking some cooking classes I hear …. has some great ones for beginners.”
Male, ” I meant to tell you several of our friends, have been mentioning that you seem to be getting more and more ( effeminate, fat, .. ) you might want to do something about that. This can work for women too.
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