One of the best things you can learn for real life situations is when and when not to fight.  In this case, “fight” means any kind of confrontation, such as an argument, protest or actual physical fighting.  Learning when not to fight is actually one of the weapons in your real life arsenal.  Many teachers of self-defense courses and martial arts classes teach when not to fight as one of their first lessons.

What’s The Point?

The point of knowing when not to fight is that you can live (whether metaphorically or literally) to fight another day.  Even if you have a black belt in karate, that doesn’t mean you should give a boot to the head of anyone who looks at you funny.  This will get you nowhere fast.  You only have so much physical, emotional and mental resource inside of you – save it for when it’s really needed and don’t waste your energy over every little raised middle finger.

Fight Only When

Fight only when your situation meets these three conditions.

1. When the cause is for a good reason, such as defending a dog from tormentors rather than punching anyone who calls you a bitch.
2. When you have an actual chance of winning.  Unless you are a masochist.
3. When there is a witness on your side, if at all possible.  Having no witnesses around is better than having a witness there on your opponent’s side.  This gets you out of a lot of any sticky repercussions of your argument, confrontation or whatever.

Case Scenario – Me

I had to learn when not to fight while attending a strict religious school.  It was the best college-prep school in the county and my parents were proud I was in there.  I hated the place, but I couldn’t bring it in my heart to say so to my folks.  However, I did learn a lot – but not about anything taught on the syllabus.

I am part Native American.  I am very proud of this.  However, my skin is ghostly white.  One day in high school, the history teacher told us that all Native Americans were devil worshippers and deserved to be annihilated by the white Christians.  I was so shocked I couldn’t think of anything to say, at first.

Now, I really admire people who stick up for what is right immediately.  Popular culture teaches us that these people always win in the end.  So, I was torn at saying something or not.  I wanted to be one of the good guys, and good guys always fight for what’s right … right?

At the end of the class, I confronted the teacher very quietly.  “Did you know I am part Native American?”  I asked him.

I saw his face pale.

“My ancestors didn’t deserve genocide.  There is no devil in their mythology.”

“Spirits – same thing!” he blustered.  “The Bible is very clear and makes exceptions for no one…”

As he babbled on, I glanced around and saw that we were the only two people in the room.  No one had cared what he had said other than me.  I thought about what would happen to me if I pressed the issue further.  Just using a swear word in the school could get you expelled, and that would kill my folks.

I realized he wasn’t going to listen to anything other than his own point of view.  Arguing would be useless.  I wouldn’t be able to help my dead ancestors or myself.  But, I could pretend to agree with this a**hole, get my A+, graduate, go out into the real world and then write about human rights. I learned when not to fight.  What can he do to me now?  Nothing. 

I won.

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